House of M: Regrets
by shanejayell
Summary: Why did Kitty argue against changing the House of M world? The answer may surprise you... Femslash.


Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from X-Men or House of M, I'm only borrowing them for awhile. Despite various retcons on the subject I'm following Warren Ellis' take on the characters and pegging Kitty Pryde's age at the late teen range, and possibly even older in the House of M universe. The first page or so is based on a sequence from House of M by Brian M. Bendis, used with respect.

House of M: Regrets

The SHIELD Hellicarrier soared through the crowds as the members of the X-Men and the Avengers talked in the commissary, discussing their plans. They had a incredible situation to deal with, and inside all of them were reeling a little in shock. Somehow, Magneto had used the powers of his daughter Wanda the Scarlet Witch to rewrite all reality, creating a new world where mutants ruled over humanity and humans were the despised minority. The mysterious child Layla Miller had somehow awakened them to their true memories and original lives, and it was all a bit much to deal with.

Katherine Pryde leaned against the wall, the brown haired young woman listening as Scott Summers grimly explained how they could not hold back in attacking Magneto's home and getting much needed answers. Nearby Emma Frost sat on the couch, Layla Miller asleep with her head in her lap while Rogue perched nearby. Around various tables the X-Men grimly listened, each coping with the situation their own way.

"Are we supposed to do this?" Kitty burst out, surprising her seat mates Logan, Kurt Wagner and Jennifer Walters.

"Supposed to do what, Kitty?" Felicia Hardy asked, the blonde looking a bit confused from where she was standing by Cloak.

"Doesn't trying to put the world back after what's happened seem just as bad as what's been done to it?" Kitty explained, leaning forward on the table. "This isn't like stopping a bomb from going off. It's already gone off! We might even make it worse," 

"But," Cloak said, his face obscured by the black and blue cloak he always wore, "we have to try, right?"

Kitty smiled bitterly, "I'm asking, who says?"

As Jessica Drew stepped into the debate arguing that they were all happier here, Kitty was nodding her agreement even as Logan, Scott and Emma Frost took the side that they had to do something. As Spider-Man got up and left Kitty also rose, and faking concern she slipped from the room as well.

Kitty walked to a nearby window and looked out at the sky around her, her thoughts in turmoil. She smelled him first, the faint scent of cigars lingering around him as she said, "Leave me alone, Logan."

"Not right now," Logan answered, the shorter man moving up beside her. Described by some as a hairy fireplug Logan was a stocky, muscular man, one who carried with him decades of harsh experience. 

Evasively Kitty said, "So you got to run SHIELD. What was it like being Nick Fury?"

"I've had worse times," Logan conceded. He looked at her with sympathy as he asked, "What's really riling you up?"

Kitty looked out the window, her expression anguished, "I got my heart's desire too, Logan."

"Yer a teacher," Logan agreed.

"Not just a teacher," Kitty hissed. "I live in a house near by my parents in Cincinnati, with my wife of five years..."

Logan blinked, "Damn."

"Exactly," Kitty nodded jerkily. "And now I have to help my friends possibly erase her from history."

Logan squeezed her shoulder, "She might still exist afterwards."

Kitty sighed, "But she won't know who I am, and who knows if I'll even remember any of this afterwards?"

Logan nodded as he joined her looking out at the darkening sky. "It's a hard choice," he admitted, "make the best one you can."

And that was what Kitty did. She threw herself in the battle at Genosha, fighting beside her friends against familiar faces, until the battle was stopped by Wanda herself. Healing her brother Pietro from a fatal wound she cried out her pain and grief, then uttered those fateful words "...no more mutants."

And reality changed once again. In a flash of white light hundreds of thousands of mutants were suddenly human, even as some of the X-Men and Avengers coped with disuieting memories of a world that no longer existed. In the chaos following the X-Men struggled to cope, tracking down a depowered Magneto and facing the return of Vulcan, but eventually things settled down a bit.

The jeep paused as Kitty got her bearings, then continued on through eerily familiar surroundings. She hadn't been in Cincinnati in years, yet she remembered another life where she had never moved away. It was strangely confusing as she drove on, navigating by landmarks until she found the spot on the edge of town.

The little bar was right where Kitty remembered, and even better it still had the same all women clientelle. Women were getting out of their cars, lingering, talking and generally engaging in that subtle mating dance women do so well. As ladies went in she could hear music playing, almost calling out to her to go in and join the fun.

With a nervous gulp Kitty left the jeep and walked towards the door, feeling eyes rest on her jean clad legs and butt along with the looser shirt she had chosen. She got into line, keeping her stance casual while remaining aware of her surroundings.

"Identification?" the woman at the door asked, looking at Kitty a little warily. As Kitty produced her wallet the older woman looked it over, then handed it back as she asked, "This your first time here?"

"Yeah," Kitty said, deciding it was too complicated to say she had once visited there in a alternate timeline.

"Watch yourself," she advised, "a girl like you would be in pretty high demand."

"Thanks," Kitty grinned and headed in.

AS she went inside there were so many faces Kitty knew, but she had to fight back the urge to cry hello. They didn't know her, and the only reason Kitty recognized them was because of memories she retained from a alternate life. Still, she walked up to the bar with the confidence of familiarity and ordered a simple beer.

Turning with drink in hand Kitty savored her drink even as she matched memories with faces. There was Evelyn and Cory playing pool, Beth, Jack and Hazel by the jukebox, and the usual poker game in the corner included Simone, Rio, Dani and Jesse. They all looked so familiar, yet none of them had ever met her before.

'This is a bad idea,' Kitty admitted to herself, turning back to her beer. Even if she found her here once again, they were both different people, having led very different lives. The chances of them striking sparks like the first time they met were tiny at best.

"Why so glum, chum?" a soft voice asked, so close as to make a shiver run up Kitty's spine.

Ruby looked just as Kitty remembered her, her signature red hair falling into amused looking green eyes. She wore a tight red dress showing off generous curves, and her face was done up with just enough make up to bring out her eyes. All in all she was stunning, and Kitty found herself nearly speechless.

"Uhh," Kitty managed weakly.

Ruby chuckled softly as she said, "You look like someone stole your best friend. Want to talk about it?"

"It's a long story," Kitty managed to get her mind in gear well enough to get out.

"I'm not going anywhere," Ruby gave her a charming wink.

"Well," Kitty smiled back, "why not?"

Sitting at a table the next half hour was remarkably pleasant as Kitty talked about a deliberately vague lost love, and subtly sounded out Ruby. Like in the House of M world she was a teacher, dealing in the elementary grades, and possessed of a sharp mind that easily followed Kitty's. They talked and laughed, yet Kitty felt a slight distance between them too.

"It's been good to meet you, Kitty," Ruby finally put down her drink and stretched, "but I'd best be getting home." Her smile was slightly apologetic as she said, "The wife tolerates my going out like this, but not too late."

Kitty felt light the wind had been punched out of her. 'Of course someone so nice must be taken,' she realized even as she reassured Ruby that it was fine, standing up as the other lady prepared to go.

"I hope I'll see you around," Ruby smiled, "it's so nice to talk to a new face."

"Maybe," Kitty agreed as she watched Ruby walk off into the night. With a somewhat heavy heart she got up and went back to the bar, ordering a coffee since she was going to be driving soon.

"You all right?" the bartender asked.

"Hmm?" Kitty looked at her questioningly.

Pushing over a cup of coffee she quietly said, "I don't think Ruby realizes the effect she can have on people."

"Maybe so," Kitty admitted as she gently stirred in sugar and cream, "but that's part of her charm." Reluctantly she let go of even the possibility of dating Ruby, taking that dream and firmly putting it away.

"Yeah, true enough," the older woman admitted. "Don't let her scare you off," she dropped her voice as she continued, "you could make some good friends here, miss."

Kitty drank some coffee, smiling to herself slightly. Maybe she couldn't have the dream life of House of M... but maybe it was possible to find something more real. "You know," she mused as she sipped, "maybe I will be back."

End

Notes: I thought it was a bit off that of all the "happily ever afters" in House of M the only happily married characters were Spidey and Gwen and Cyclops and Emma. If you were given your heart's desire, I'd think more than a few would include wedded bliss. 

So why Kitty? She was the only character on the X-Men side to actually argue they should NOT change the world back, which implied she might have a personal reason. As to Kitty being gay, it's partially my imagination and part subtext between her and various candidates. I was going to have her be married to either Rachel/Marvel girl or X'ian/Karma, but both were caught up in stories that prevented that.


End file.
